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Who is in your circle?

If you still have a long list of friends, you are indeed lucky; but again, you have not yet experienced an ugly side of adulting: letting God sieve your friends for you.

My adult daughter is currently going through this sieving process, and I do not envy her, because I have been there, done that and it is such a painful process.

When God starts showing you the true colours of people you call friends, it is like going through an actual breakup, only that it happens over and over again, until your circle has been roughly cinched in, to spit out masqueraders and leave only a handful of true friends.

When I first gave my life to Jesus Christ, I remember my pastor telling me that God was going to take some people out of my life. I looked around me and wondered: “Like who, now? And why? My kikoosi is big, but these are all amazing people.”

About a year after I found salvation, God started with the closest friend of them all; an ugly side I had never imagined in her surfaced, and I was the target of her evil vitriol in inexplicable circumstances.

That felt like a real love breakup, despite us being just best friends. My heart was left crushed for many months after we decided we could no longer be friends. But I had no time to catch my breath as I watched other people fall out of my circle unceremoniously, and others came in.

I appreciated all of it much later when I looked back and remembered what my pastor had said. So, you too, if your circle of friends is still too big, you haven’t seen anything yet, my friend.

There are people with you, because of what you can do for them, and the day you become incapable of doing those things for them, you will see the real them. Others are your friends because it is convenient. For now.

Others are in your life because God put them there for a season and purpose; when it is their time to move on, accept the changes with grace. Others are your friends because of your network – spiritual, economic and social – when they find a better one, it is goodbye.

Those that are not meant to be in your life will inevitably have to leave at one point, and trust me, those breakups are no walk in the park; yet, they are necessary to adulting and spiritual maturity.

malita@observer.ug

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