Sex Talk: Guess who’s coming to dinner!

Yeah, I had to smuggle myself into the headline, somehow; if you know, you know…

But on to the topic of the day: what are you having for dinner, or shall I call it supper, and at what time are you eating?

It is very possible that you are singlehandedly complicating your own sex life, by sticking to habits that do not promote great sex. Growing up, the average home would have four meals a day, before the economy became ‘enkonome’ and many families kicked out the ‘wasteful’ eating habits.

There would be breakfast, lunch, evening tea and supper. Very British, our parents tried to keep it. This meant, supper would be served after 9pm, even after 10pm in some homes, to allow the evening tea to settle. Today, even with evening tea kicked off the day’s meal card, the late supper remains a problem, no matter how much the Dr Kasenenes of this world preach against eating the last meal of the day after 7pm.

The dining area remains a busy place with the heaviest meal of the day coming at 10pm; at that hour, someone is eating yams, fish, matooke, some beans on the side… and they still expect to have a good, intimate time as a couple later in bed.

If nothing will convince you to have your supper much earlier, I hope thinking about the current state of your sex life will. There surely can be no joy in retiring to bed with flatulence, a feeling of being bloated, acid reflux and indigestion, all the while trying to be agile in bed, sprightly like a kitten and seductive in your advances.

How, when a noisy belch interrupts the kisses?

How, when your stomach is processing all manner of gases while trying to break down the beans and kikalayi you just unleashed on it? If anything, eating your supper that late only sets you up for some really messy sexual encounters with your spouse.

Some dishes such as fish are very healthy, but not quite sexy. Eating them so close to bedtime will ruin the effect you were aiming for in the sense of smell. And there is the spouse who refuses to enter the bed without eating a proper meal, regardless the time of night.

He comes home at 2am and demands for his sweet potatoes, posho and chicken stew at that hour. Mbu supper. You are sabotaging yourself and any intimate activities lined up for later.

Train yourself to eat a good – even heavy – lunch but keep supper very light, or at a zero. You will not only sleep better, but you will also be a better lover. For now, you retire at bedtime and seem to walk into your bedroom with a long queue of ailments in your wake, yet you were not feeling as horrible during the day.

My friend, that late supper is causing more problems than you know. I don’t need to be a nutritionist to tell you that some of us could be lactose or/and gluten-intolerant, but do not know, because very few Ugandans ever check for those health details.

For the most part, we just eat, then spend the night tossing and turning, feeling like we are dying. Where is the time for lovemaking in that battle for your soul?

Being lactose-intolerant or gluten-intolerant can cause some of the most uncomfortable feelings until the offending foodstuff is out of the system.

Try changing eating habits, starting with the time you have your last meal, and you will thank me later.

caronakazibwe@gmail.com