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Sex Talk: Don’t dim your lights with carelessness

From a woman to men, let me dapple in an area many men give little or no thought, especially during the courtship journey, which can cause multiple potential wives to dump you like a hot coal.

These are simple mistakes that are easy to overlook, but reflect on what kind of lover you will make without one having to sleep with you first, or what kind of husband you are likely to be.


I am one of those people that truly associate the way one handles his food with the way one handles his woman at pink elephants time. I read it somewhere years ago, for example, that a man who takes his time with his meal is also likely a patient and attentive lover when it comes to sex.

That introduced me to a pastime: watching men eat, to determine what their manners say about the kind of men they are in the privacy of their marital bedrooms. I am weary of the man who piles his plate with food enough for three adults, and even goes for seconds... I have no proof for this, but I instinctively think he is also an insatiable, out-of-control glutton when it comes to lovemaking.

Or the careless eater who basically inhales his food, makes a mess of the food and his mouth, all in the name of eating... talking with his mouth full as food particles fly everywhere... slurping and chewing loudly... I get very unsavoury images of the kind of lover he must be, and I know I am not alone in womankind.

When you take her out, mind your table manners; if she is anything like me, she is possibly judging you to ‘see something’... we may be even wrong, but hey, first impressions are lasting impressions.


In this economy, it may actually be advisable to pinch the penny as a wise man, but not as a stingy one. Be sure stinginess is not the brand you project during courtship.

In every case I know where a man has displayed stinginess during courtship, he has gone on to be a very painful husband to live with when it comes to using his finances on his wife, children and home.

I remember listening to a tale from one fiancée, who went out on a date with her future husband in a relatively cheap place, yet he would not stop complaining about how many kilos of potatoes could have come out of the chips she had ordered; how she was eating the cost of a whole rooster in one small drumstick.

I told her then, “It is not too late to call this thing off, you know! That is such an obvious red flag.”

Needless to say, the wedding went ahead, and he turned out to be really stingy to the point that she paid all the bills and then some, paid all the school fees and he even referred his relatives to her for financial help, despite him being very gainfully employed.

Well, they are already divorced. When you decide to take your wife or girlfriend out, gundi, don’t count the rice! Generosity in a man is quite the turn-on, because it shows a promise to provide, regardless how things pan out in the future.


Last but not least, cleanliness, they say, is next to godliness. There are people you take one look (or sniff ) at, and know if you marry them, you are sentencing yourself to a life of dealing with skid marks in their underwear, horrible toilet habits, zero sex etiquette, etc...

Not to gross you out any further, I will leave it at that. But just know, women in this day and era also want to marry ‘well’, in every sense of that word, because in a modern world, women come with much more to the table and are thus likely to be less tolerant, compared to our mothers and grandmothers.

Just saying.


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