Sex Talk: Do you have the most important pillar?

Do you even like her? Or you just saw the big bum, tiny waist and pointy breasts and decided, “eureka!”?

Well, I have got news for you. The tiny waist can transform into a saggy belly overnight. The big backside that had you sold from the word go can develop contour lines and tiny craters in otherwise endearing ways, or disappear altogether – like you initially just imagined it!

I have a great aunt who was the belle of her village, but after one baby, her big backside and accompanying enviable curves vanished like magic – she often joked about it. And don’t get me started about those pointy breasts once life happens to them properly!

So, I will ask again, do you even like your wife? Because that may be the only factor that stands between you and marital ruin when all other things fall apart. What about your husband? Beyond the great sex he exhibited during your rather action-packed courtship, the great body and fat wallet, do you at the least, like him?

When diabetes or even an enlarged prostate gland hits and the sex life, among other things, becomes quite the gamble, will you stay? When the biceps become ‘interesting’ and the cash and class are knocked several pegs down, do you like that husband of yours enough to fight for the marriage, regardless?

One wife decided on marriage when Mister was financially fluid, had a car, looked very corporate and had the sexiness oozing out of his ears. Two years in, he was ‘beeping’ her in bed, mostly because of the financial troubles that had sent him back to the Footsubishi, and the tenants and hustlers, club.

The marriage never survived that rocking boat. Those are things people never think about when choosing a life partner and later compromise their commitment in the blink of an eye. I will never forget our university days and this fine-looking couple we all coveted.

They looked great together and were always in our faces with their love! Everywhere we looked, there they were in another public display of affection, usually dressed like they were movie stars.

Then the boy – a tall, handsome guy from a good family – was in a serious motor accident that left one of his legs shorter than the other when doctors were done fixing him.

How can I ever forget the scandal of the trophy girlfriend dumping him on his hospital bed, because he was “no longer perfect” in her eyes with his pronounced limp. Clearly, she was not that into him; had it been a marriage, she still would have walked out, probably.

Be sure why you are getting married. Singer Mesach Semakula has a song where he advises people to marry their friends, and I agree. When all else fails, that special relationship, respect and genuine affection for the person you married will hold the ship together; long enough for it to get back on course at some point.

But I have seen couples and wondered, do these people even like each other?!
Where there has been longevity in marriage, I have also noticed a pattern of interesting friendships and camaraderie that beat most odds.

carol@observer.ug