How would you best describe yourself ?
I am a 30-something-year-old man [yeah! Now men too fear to reveal their real age, apparently] born in the eastern district of Soroti.
I am a pioneer stand-up comedian and regarded as one of the best and most consistent, and also regarded as one of the finest events MCs in the country with several bookings for weddings, kwanjula and corporate parties. I am also a proud father to two very good-looking superstars.
Why do you call yourself Napoleone?
That name comes from Makerere High School. I once wrote a play and gave myself the character of Napoleon; so, students started calling me Napoleon and I took it on. I was intrigued by the story of Napoleon Bonaparte. I saw similarities from his rough childhood where he finally broke all barriers and became an important man; so, I thought it was a befitting stage name for me.
You also call yourself the only Muchwezi from Eastern Uganda…
[Laughs] I do like the mystery behind the Bachwezi. No one really knows whether they were there or not, and some say they just disappeared. It is a phrase I use just for fun.
Where did you grow up?
I spent my early years in Kampala in Nsambya and Kabalagala areas, but when I was eight years, I was taken back to Soroti until my senior four when I left for Makerere High School, Migadde for A-level.
What was your childhood like?
I had low self-esteem. I met my dad when I was 10 years old, but before that I was staying with my stepdad who was a teacher. He [stepdad] was a drunkard and started beating my mum and me when I was just three years old. So, at five years, I would often disappear from home and go to the streets for like three years, until I was taken to Soroti. Basically that chaotic childhood and neglect gave me low self-esteem.
Quick Talk can only imagine! Any crazy childhood memories?
I was a Kung Fu fanatic and while in Soroti, I went where the Chinese used to stay and told them to teach me Kung Fu, because I had the assumption that every Chinese knew it. They took me to some Korean who was excited that a Ugandan was interested in Kung Fu and he took me through a few sessions. I was a fighter as a child and at some point I believed that I would become a Kung Fu master.
How did you start doing comedy?
Throughout my primary and secondary schools, I was in school drama clubs. At Uganda Christian University (UCU), I founded a comedy group “The Philosophers” where I would write skits and train my fellow students to act and present them on Saturday. That was my birth as a comedian. Then Daniel Omara and other comedians formed “The Crackers” and I was invited to perform with them and that is how I joined mainstream comedy.
How do you perfect being funny in English!?
First of all, English is my first language; it is the language I have been speaking most since my childhood, because we were staying in the teachers’ quarters. Since it is the language I know better than any other, it is easier for me to think and speak in English. I don’t need to translate the jokes in my head from my local language to English. So, it is a one-way line.
So, you cannot do comedy in your mother tongue?
I honestly cannot do it without stuttering. I have done it, but I am not as efficient as I am in English.
Did you receive that Covid-19 relief package for comedians?
No, I was doing quite well; so, I left it for others [he was a brand ambassador for a betting company during the two lockdowns, and was getting a monthly pay].
So, you are a teacher by profession…
Oh yes. I graduated from UCU with a bachelor’s degree in Education majoring in History and Economics. Unfortunately for the students, I have never stepped in class to teach, because I had made up my mind that I wanted to be in entertainment, and specifically comedy. Even while doing the degree, it was just a formality. It is important to have the document though, because
the educated comedians are more respected than the uneducated [ones]. It is also easier to negotiate with corporate companies.
Teacher Mpamire still teaches and does comedy; couldn’t you do both?
No, I choose to stick specifically to comedy because I am also a content creator which I do when I get some free time. So, my time is pretty much covered up. Although I think one day I will teach like for a year – pro bono.
Have you ever cracked a joke and the audience did not laugh?
It happens in comedy. An experienced comedian, 10 years in the game, can crack a joke and either the audience doesn’t get it or you haven’t cooked it well enough. But as a comedian, you always have a backup format. Normally we put the jokes we are not so sure of in the middle, and those that we know will work are the ones we close with.
Do you have a better half at home?
[Hesitantly] eehhh… Let us leave things that are not yet official. The day I prepare a kwanjula and a wedding, I will tell the whole world. It should be happening in the next few years, not more than three years.
Would you date a woman who bleached?
Unless I don’t know that she bleached, but if know that she did so, hapana. [Bursts into laughter] I think it would be playing on my mind and probably when we are having arguments, I might bring it up to shut her down.
What kind of dad are you?
I am both tough and soft. In fact even my kids sometimes get confused because one moment I can scream like a lion and the next I am throwing them in the air, playing football, watching cartoons and drawing pictures together. Majorly I prefer to be a friendly and playful dad.
What do you do for fun away from comedy?
In my free time I watch TV. I am a big football fan; so, I watch all football. I am an Arsenal fan. [oh, bless your strong heart!] I also catch up on movies. Plus I actually love social media; I can spend almost two hours just going through social media and not just for fun but because it also feeds us with content.
Who are your favourite comedians locally?
I like Daniel Omara, Salvado, Teacher Mpamire, Anne Kansiime, Alex Muhangi [and], Pablo. These are guys I have watched or worked with and my ribs are cracked. My favourites among those who mainly do Luganda comedy are Amooti and MC Kapale.
jjingoernest1@gmail.com
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