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Sex Talk: Age is just a number, indeed

The other day I was huffing and puffing my way up a steep Makerere University hill when a couple, probably in their seventies, overtook me at amazing speed, and the wife even managed to throw me a sympathetic smile as they dashed by.

I felt so old in that instant, and they looked so young!

In my sweaty misery, I mused: “That must be what they mean by ‘age is just a number’!” And then: “They must have a healthy sex life, still.”

I thought of the couples half their age that I know, whose sex lives have more or less ground to a halt, because of painful knees or aching backs, yet here was this couple looking like they were on steroids.

The importance of exercise in sex cannot be emphasised enough. I recently shared Olivia’s story here, whose late discovery of working out – thanks to lockdown blues and fads – saved her marriage and the sex therein.

She had lately even developed a painful lower back that made even mediocre sex next to impossible. Exercise got rid of that pain, and her husband did not know what hit him!

Start slow. Choose your hills. Choose your workouts. Build on that. Your spouse will be grateful. One lady who just started working out with an old tyre in her compound for strength training told me she could hardly turn in bed the first two nights, and wondered whether I had succeeded in ruining her marriage, instead.

But once she got the hang of it and her muscles woke up to the new reality, she discovered the true magic of exercise. See, sex is very much about endurance, good breath control, flexibility, great metabolism and, most important of all, body confidence. A good, regular workout gives you all these and more.

I have also read before that exercise allows your system to release important chemicals and feel-good hormones that make you feel more attractive and of good temperament. Very important in great lovemaking. For both sexes.

I saw a video clip of a pastor on the heavier side of life, dismissing the need for fitness and working out. As a Christian, I hate to say this, but don’t listen to him. Whatever your size or weight, you can improve your life greatly by revving that heart regularly with exercise. The dividends will show up in your sex life, among other areas.

If you are new to it, be warned, the first couple of days will hurt and your achy muscles will convince you to never attempt anything again, but once you push through, you will see.

Don’t walk around with a pinched mouth, creased forehead and flaring nostrils, 24/7. Put that stress/anger into a workout and your spouse will wonder what happened to the old you.

By the way, our bodies were not built for a sedentary lifestyle; eventually they rebel. How? You become the stereotypical nagging wife as your body looks for where to channel the extra energy.

You start counting the onions, weighing the beef pieces and barking at the children every time you come home from work, yet you could have expended that negative energy on a punching bag.

When the lockdown partially ended, those among us classified as non-essential workers by the government faced the reality of leaky radiators, dead batteries, flat tyres, etc, on our stationary cars. Because those machines were built to create mileage, not just sit there.

Think of your underutilised body in that way too.

Sex in itself is exercise, yes, but you must be having a regular dose of it – and of good quality – for it to qualify. Still, you will soon find that your mojo and stamina are failing there, if you do not work on building buffer stocks using actual exercise.

Thank me later.

carol@observer.ug

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