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Sex talk: You need this intimate hack

It is time for another dose of intimate self-improvement hacks, ladies. Sorry guys, when I hear of something really worth writing home about, I will hit you with it.

But for now, let us talk about the magic called rosemary, mint and oregano!

Whether from your garden or from the supermarket shelves, all these herbs are readily available to you and they could be what lies between you and your next round of ecstasy. 

I don’t know of any scientific evidence that they will improve your libido or not, but what has been tested and proven by those who have used the concoction, is how the herbs improve one’s PH balance, self-confidence and natural odour.

Not only that, rosemary, mint and oregano (used together) will solve any struggling wife’s lubrication problems, even as they leave her quite literally ‘seasoned’ for her husband. If you know, you know.

“I tried this recently and, wow!”  one wife who requested anonymity because her husband still has no idea what hit him, said.

“I boiled water and added a tablespoonful of rosemary, a tablespoonful of mint and another of oregano. When the whole mixture had boiled and the infusion of herbs had caused a distinct aroma, I made myself a cup of herbal tea and put the rest of the water in a bucket,” she said.

She then sat on the said bucket (sans underwear, duh!) when the steam had become bearable on the body, and proceeded to sip her tea as the steam made inroads in other parts of her body, marinating and seasoning as it went… Now, you cannot do this every day of course, because scientists say hot water can upset the same PH balance.

“Later when my husband and I made love, he could not stop asking me why things felt so pleasantly different!”

I must concede, I have not seen more hardworking women than Kampala wives when it comes to matters pertaining to their sex lives. I guess because the competition for available men no longer exempts married men from aggressive, independent girls ready to go to any lengths to snatch someone from another.

A young woman recently said she had a huge crush on a particular man that she pointed out, saying she had already done everything in her power to get his attention, in vain.

Someone then pointed out to her that the said man had a wife, but the plotting young woman quipped: “I don’t care; she’s not the one I am after!”

It is called a dot.com-plus generation. Thankfully, many wives are also coming out of their slumber to hold down their marriages in every way they can through self-improvement in every department.

Now, don’t go all feminist on me; the fact is that few men worry about polyandry the way women worry about ending up in polygamous marriages they did not consent to. So, naturally, a lot more self-improvement work goes into this side of the gender divide. Is it fair? No. But it is what it is.

So, once you are done sulking about “but what do these men ever do to entice us, really?” go get yourself some rosemary, mint and oregano and get ‘cooking’.

Maybe once your husband is ‘delightedly-fed’, he too will swing into self-improvement action for the sake of a marriage he suddenly finds worth fighting for!

Kudos to the ladies soaking in eucalyptus baths, inserting garlic cloves into their vaginas, drinking all tribes of detoxing/lubricating concoctions – all in order to look good and feel better about themselves but also improve their intimate experiences. Clap, clap, clap.

When they say ‘marriage is hard work’, this is part of it, I guess.

carol@observer.ug

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