My friend is not too happy with me presently; after convincing her to ditch her natural crop of hair and go get herself a perm, mine started breaking badly and I had to cut it all off. And I went natural.
More than a year later she is waiting for me to turn up with a perm, now that my hair and scalp are healed, but wapi!
I am enjoying my ‘nacho’ way too much to go back to the greasy agony called a perm. And while I have been enjoying my natural mane again for the first time since 1996, I have come to realise that these ‘nacho’ girls have been having all the fun secretly.
As I washed it under the shower on my own yet again recently, I thought about all my staunch Muslim, married friends that tend to go ‘nacho’ immediately after the nikha. Their argument: “Anti munange if I am to have any action in the bedroom, I also have to brace myself for a full ablution every other day.”
In Islam, I was made to understand, a wife cleanses with a head-to-toe ablution every time she makes love with her husband, before she can fulfill her five-times-a-day prayers. So, my friends rationalized, natural hair removes all the salon trips and complications.
But what they did not say was the amount of freedom natural hair must come with during lovemaking. As I washed mine, it occurred to me how our natural frizz can wipe out a huge percentage of a woman’s inhibitions during sex.
Because, just knowing she has not afforded a hair salon visit in weeks and her hair probably smells like something died in it, is enough for a wife to shun a husband’s hugs, cuddles and further advances as self-esteem dips.
They say 90 per cent of a woman’s pheromones come off the top of her head. There is a reason men seem to like sniffing it – barring the presence of a good-looking but prickly, artificial-smelling wig blocking all pheromones.
With the stifling chemicals gone, these pheromones roam freer and one’s husband need not fear to bury his face in his wife’s hair and inhale deeply before, during and after sex. And not pass out from some toxins and wet oil.
One wife said when she has a function the following day and has been to the salon to style her straight perm, she sleeps with her head almost hanging off the bed to maintain the neat coif, and ‘Taata Boy’ had better know better than try to run his hands through her hair, mbu he is being romantic.
And if he is to get any action, he needs to figure out how to get it without putting a strand out of place. But with these ‘nacho’ girls, I guess that is not really a problem.
They can hug, cuddle, share a romantic shower or even spoon without thinking: “Groaoaoan! My hair!”
This side of the Mediterranean, people don’t kiss and tell. If they did, these natural hair wives would share with us how taking the hair complication out of the equation swung sex to a whole new level. For I am sure it does.
A level without inhibitions, a level with free-roaming pheromones, a level with fewer hair costs. And let’s agree on at least one thing: clean, natural hair does smell nice. God just purposed it that way, I guess.
Even a baby’s clean head is adorable to the adult nose – pheromones or not.
Nothing against your perms, ladies…just keep things clean and allow your natural pheromones room to do their part in sexing up things.
That will not happen if your hair and scalp have a “Management Reserves The Right Of Admission” notice.