I am convinced that the high rate of divorce we see today is not necessarily because the sex life just failed but, rather, the other issues that butcher the libido, but were ignored from the start.
For example, take the ‘money’ out of many of Kampala’s ‘Mr Moneybags’ ruling the social scene with such pomp.
Ladies, would you give some of them even a second look, if their wallets were average?
Nope; because even now with the ‘money’ still firmly in the equation, it can be hard work ignoring some of their flaws. Yet many would kill to become the Missus Moneybags based just on the wallet quality.
Many women concede, bad looks, bad manners, disrespect and bad sex can all be overlooked as long as a man’s financials add up, which has misled men into working on just making that first billion, while doing nothing about the rest of their game and appearance.
You too must have heard the Ugandan female mantra at some point: “Better to cry in a Mercede Benz than laugh on a boda boda.”
Forgetting that seasons can change, money can vanish and all you have left is his surname, bad breath, bad manners and bad sex. Would you keep trying?
The honest women will say, “No!”
I could use up all the column space just listing men in Kampala who once had the most beautiful women fighting over them, but have finished the race quite alone and frightened as fortunes shifted.
And I could fill up a second column listing the others I look at with trepidation, wondering what will happen should they – God forbid – lose the flashy cars and big wads of cash.
Marriage is long-term and determines stakeholders’ emotional, spiritual and financial wellbeing greatly. Follow sustainable qualities and not just temporary variables whose sexiness and appeal wear off just as fast.
Okay, imagine stripping the makeup off the girl currently giving you sleepless nights and replacing her slay queen outfits with something more basic. Would you still like what you see mentally or are you, like many, only attracted to the façade?
I once saw men at a gym go for weights they could ordinarily not shift, because they were all trying to impress this light-skinned beauty prancing around the gym in a bright orange lycra outfit and full makeup.
Even as a straight woman, I grudgingly admitted; the chick looked hot and fine!
Minutes later I bumped into her in the bathrooms as she was coming out of the showers after her ‘workout’ and I did a double take. She was not light-skinned at all; her choice of foundation and powder had greatly edited her complexion.
We clearly had similar battles with the stomach area, now that I could see her after she had removed the flattering lycra and whatever else had propped things up to look like she had washboard abs.
And the wig was gone, displaying a totally different age group from the one the guys in the gym were breaking their backs over…
Which brings me to the question: when you wear 24/7 an artificial bum under your clothes, wear a wig, false eyelashes, bra pads, corset, name it, how do you explain it to the dude when things start scattering all over the place upon reaching the ‘match grounds’ and kickoff is nigh?
Do you count on all the blood having already left his brain area so he will not notice any inconsistencies, or…?
Anyway, I digress; not that I have anything against having loads of cash or taking great care of yourself in the form of makeup and other enhancers. Just know that at the end of the day those are weak selling points if it is something long-term you are aiming for.
Show a deeper, relatable side to you as well, so that should all fall apart at some point – again, God forbid – there is a good foundation to rebuild on.