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Who said Lady GaGa can't croon one for Christmas?

Father Christmas
Give us money
Don’t mess around with the silly toys
Beat you up if you don’t…
Give all the toys to the little rich boys.

Give my daddy a job coz he needs one
He’s got lots of mouths to feed.
And if you don’t
I’ll have a machine gun to chase all the kids from the streets.

That is part of a rock song titled Father Christmas done by Lit. And you guessed right, it is a Christmas song. Well, welcome to today’s Christmas ‘carols’. They are plain naughty and wacky. But what do you expect when the likes of Lady GaGa, her royal nakedness, take to making Christmas music?

If you doubt me, check out Christmas Tree on Youtube, done none other than by Lady GaGa. Beyonce too, a lady that glories in her nakedness has a number of Christmas songs to her name. But her lyrics are just fine compared to the ones that make up the song, Ghetto Christmas.

You guessed right, there are lots of swearing and F-words, and he sings in part: “I stole my mama’s Victoria Secret to give it to my teacher as a Christmas gift” and “I will beat your a**”. Don’t people fear Jesus Christ anymore?
Ludacris has a Christmas song to him titled Ludacrismas and so do the Pussycat Dolls.
Britney Spears, Madonna, Lynyrd Skynyrd – whose song, Santa Claus Needs Some Loving is suspicious – all have Christmas songs to their names.
I was surprised to hear a Christmas song done in reggae.

Why is it important that every singer, whether they care about Jesus or not, does a Christmas song? It is about the money of course. Jesus’ birthday comes but every year so it makes economic sense to cash in when everyone seems to want to spend. It could also be about brand building. Imagine your song playing every December of every month! That is staying in everyone’s face and that is a good thing if you want to remain a relevant celebrity.

However, some artistes are not being brilliant as they go about trying to brand build.  How can seven artists all sing the same boring song, Santa Baby? Madonna, Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, Sexy Halie, Pussycat Dolls, Taylor Swift and Eartha Kitt have all attempted the song, never mind the person that conceived it first. Besides the above reasons, some artistes are just being plain naughty like The Killers with their Don’t Shoot Me Santa.

That, plus they seek to break the monotony of Silent Night and Long time ago in Bethlehem. So many reasons can be given for secular artists like Shaggy (this man who never gets enough of naked ladies) doing Christmas songs. You can add onto the list and if you haven’t heard any, you can listen to Touch FM, that is where I heard most of mine.

dnabiruma@observer.ug

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