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Wolokoso: Of NRM, witches and night dancers

In Buganda, if you start talking about the funeral before the sick person dies, you may be branded a night dancer.

Now Buyaga West MP Barnabas Tinkasiimire has accused the NRM of being witches, following the party’s behaviuor after Tinkasiimire and three other MPs were expelled from the party.

“The actions of the people in NRM show that they are witches. How can you start to prepare yourself for someone’s burial before he/she dies?” Tinkasiimire said.

Tinkasiimire was apparently referring to how NRM hurried to parade candidates for the anticipated by-elections in the rebel MPs’ constituency: Kampala Central (Muhammad Nsereko), Buyaga West; Ndorwa East (Wilfred Niwagaba) and Lwemiyaga (Theodore Ssekikubo).

Like the ailing person who suddenly gets up and walks while you are talking about his funeral, the rebel MPs are not about to ‘die’ or collapse politically, after the speaker refused to expel them.

MP Lumumba’s ‘rebel’ regrets

Have you ever made a decision and you got overwhelmed by some of its implications to the extent you start wondering if it was the right decision?

It would appear this is what happened to Government Chief Whip Justine Kasule Lumumba.  She took a hard stance to call NRM’s rebel MPs to order by arraigning them before the party’s disciplinary committee.

The four MPs, however, refused to appear and were eventually expelled from the party, which also tried to get them expelled from Parliament.

Now, it seems Lumumba is not very proud of her role. Wolokoso overheard Lumumba  pouring out her heart to another person thus: “I thought it would be something light, maybe temporary but not completely expelling them from the party... These are boys we met at school which means, they have been my long time friends especially Ssekikubo.”

Kiyonga, intolerant to late comers

Defence Minister Crispus Kiyonga, hates late coming with such a passion he can call anyone to order!

This was evident when Kiyonga recently led a ministry delegation to Parliament’s committee on Defence and Internal Affairs, which is chaired by Kigulu South MP Milton Muwuma.
Kiyonga and his team entered the committee room at exactly 10am, but to their dismay, only Makindye West MP Hussein Kyanjo had arrived.

This prompted Kiyonga to make a ‘wake-up’ phone call to the chairperson to remind him of the time of the appointment.

“Hello, we are here with some of our colleagues in your committee. I think we should be starting now,” Kiyonga was heard saying on his smart phone before adding, later: “So, we start with him?”

Museveni abandons his new obsession with wine

President Museveni, a proud teetotaler, carefully chooses what to eat and does not miss his exercise routine. But recently, medics at State House convinced Mzee to take a glass of wine at least everyday because it’s good for his health.

However, Wolokoso heard that when he tasted the wine, the president got hooked to the drink. He started taking two glasses. But the wine gave him a lot of sleep until the president jokingly said whoever gave him the wine had a hidden agenda. He has since abandoned the wine.

FDC’s Nsibambi for Makindye East

FDC’s vice-president for the Central region and prominent lawyer Yusuf Nsibambi has also caught the bug of elective politics. Nsibambi, who is also the chairperson of Kampala district land board, wants to wrest the seat from NRM’s Sam Ssimbwa if he chooses to contest in 2016.

However, Nsibambi could face stiff competition from former MP Michael Mabikke who may want to reclaim his seat after miserably losing the race to become the Lord Mayor to Erias Lukwago.

MPs’ love-hate affair with police

It seems MPs have a love-hate affair with the police. Opposition MPs particularly breathe fire when it comes to the police, accusing the force of being an extension of the NRM government.

But when it came to consideration of the budget framework for the police, where the ministry of Finance allocated Shs 280.2bn which had a shortfall of Shs 12.1bn for the wages, opposition MPs protested loudest.

“We cannot pass a budget of police which has a shortfall of Shs 12.1bn. This means that some officers will not be paid yet they worked. No, this will be abusing human rights,” said Butambala MP Muhammad Muwanga Kivumbi (DP) who in the past petitioned the Constitutional court to challenge the powers of police regarding allowing or disallowing rallies.

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