City dude: Chasing the eclipse and sex tapes

Last week was simply ‘eclipstic’.

Before we go far, I want to thank the NRM government for delivering on its promises by bringing free education, medical care, security and now the eclipse.

Have you noticed the previous statement is entirely false? Maybe not. It depends on which side of the table one is seated. Is it the eating side or the picking-crumbs-from-the-table side?

Apparently Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were in Uganda to watch it live. So some babes went to Pakwach to get a glimpse of the couple that has come to be known as Brangelina just in case they have space to adopt an adult. Were they targeting Angelina or Brad Pitt?

I was not able to travel because my camera lenses have no polarizers; so, it was unsafe to risk my gear on a few seconds of the ‘moon fighting the sun’ as someone described it. I still do not understand what the fuss of travelling to northern Uganda was about.

We saw it here, very well. A friend of mine simply pitched camp in a Brigadier’s expansive farm and they had a VIP view, hassle-free. That moment when you are eyeing a hot babe and her not-so-hot friend blocks your view can also be described as human eclipse. You won’t need to wear polythene paper or welders’ goggles to see this one.

But one thing is for sure, eclipse could go down in history as one of the very few events that the ‘chief viewer’ has arrived for on time, because he knew that unlike events where he is invited to be the chief mourner (really?) Ms Eclipse would not wait.

I am sure Princess Ruth Komuntale has got some breathing space from the media, thanks to the eclipse. The duke had apologized, albeit in broken English by the time we went for the break. But a rumour about a sex tape of the two began circulating.

It could turn out to be just an allegation. WhatsApp has played a big role in spreading portraits of private things for public consumption. A top Christian university is leading in as far as recording them is concerned. If you are active on social media, by now you have heard about the ‘shower sex-tape’ from this university.

I received a copy from an anonymous person thanks to WhatsApp. This is one of the many. Where is the country going? Did your parents send you to university to become a porn star?

Has it even crossed your mind that you could be recording the exact moment you contracted HIV? (I did not see any form of protection being used). This is bad and the administrations of these institutions of learning should wake up.

But all in all, a video of the royals would prove so many things. Like the allegation that he has not ‘been’ with her as husband and wife. C’mon dude; it’s been more than a year! Are you ok?

So, I would not mind receiving a copy. Fingers crossed.

baranga@observer.ug