If you want her, better work hard and become rich
We like to boast about how highly we have evolved, but it seems that we are still as native as our evolutionary ancestors when it comes to relationships matters.
For starters, in this era of liberalization, ‘likes attract’ seems to be the acceptable paradigm of dating. Love is hence expected to be based on mutual aspects like character, hobbies and ambitions rather than material possessions.
But new trends suggest otherwise. Women are increasingly going back to medieval times when a man’s attractiveness was judged on such superior traits as physical strength and hunting skills.
Today, wealth has been turned into the yardstick. For a man to get love, he must possess material wealth or at least the potential to get rich in the near future. What makes a rich man attractive to a woman? And if you are not yet rich, how can a woman spot the potential for greatness in you?
Well, Daniela let us in on a secret we all seem to know: no woman wants a broke man.
“I will tell you the truth; no serious woman wants a poor man. Women always want to be sure their children’s future is guaranteed,” she explains her choice of a much older man her family disapproves of.
Despite being jobless, Daniela lives a seemingly luxurious lifestyle, complete with a rented apartment in the upscale Ntinda neighbourhood and characterized by frequent shopping sprees.
She is dating a wealthy and married businessman who already has two wives and a number of kids. Daniela is nonetheless quick to clarify she is no gold-digger but rather a genuine, loving third wife.
“I am sick of being called names because I am dating an older man. People should know that this is the reality; we all want a happy life.”
She also bluntly says women choose wealth because their lives are complete when they have all the comforts – cars, house, fancy clothes and cash – which can only be provided by a rich man.
Joanita, on the other hand, says she is only attracted to rich men because she hates the life she grew up in. She lived a deprived childhood and had to struggle to go through school because her parents were poor.
“I grew up digging in the village and I hated it. I don’t want my children to live that kind of life,” says the university student, who once dated a wealthy government detective only to break up with him after catching him cheating.
She then moved on to an engineer whom she says has the ability to give her the life and future she desires.
“I know he will soon get rich because he is educated, focused and intelligent. He has a great business mind and he invests most of his money,” she says of her new lover, whom she had to first ask his salary scale before accepting to move out with him.
Joanita’s views are echoed by experts who say it is much easier for women to predict a man’s success. An educated and hardworking man has more potential to woo a girl than say the lazy type who lets his money do the talking, experts say.
“It is their [women’s] nature to prefer men of great calibre especially in terms of money and reputation,” says Patrick Katagata, a university administrator and professional psychologist/sociologist. And he acknowledges the trend is on the rise.
Quoting from singer Bobi Wine’s popular song Mr Money, which claims that broke men are insecure, disgruntled and have no place on earth, Katagata explains that women love rich men because they are confident.
“Women are naturally weak and need some stronger party to hold onto, especially in terms of material provisions,” he notes, adding that the trend is most common amongst girls from poor backgrounds.
But then, society’s affluent have also not been left behind. Girls from well-to-do families are increasingly making sure they maintain the status quo. Take the example of Eve, daughter of a local bank director. She says she only fell for her husband of three years because he is the only one who could match her status. The two met while studying in USA.
“I knew my parents wanted the kind of man that could easily fit in the family reputation,” Eve admits. Her husband works as a communications personnel with a renowned NGO.
But relationships of this nature stand a high chance of collapsing, experts warn. Drawing an example of a popular minister and army officer known for his scandalous relationships, Katagata warns girls against chasing wealth instead of real love.
“I know of a mother who intoxicates her young daughter’s mind by telling her that it is not her choice to have been born poor but it will be her choice to choose a poor man. Love cannot entirely be based on money,” Katagata surmises.
Some argue that men work hard to achieve their wealth and should, therefore, be allowed to choose the woman to splash it on – a trophy wife.
We all know that some very rich men would not have such beauties for wives if they were stripped of their wealth, huh? So if you want her, better work hard, become rich and get her.