The common myth is that women are the erratic and irrational half of every relationship, prone to mood swings and expert at sending mixed signals.
Most people sum all this up as ‘emotional’. I say that is a lot of hogwash fostered by a society that is unwilling to admit the truth because it’s in awe of men.
Truth be told, all humans are emotional and some are more so than others regardless of their sex. Yeah, I know science is always digging up laboratory evidence – which I am in no position to refute – against women’s emotions.
However, as a sociologist with life as my laboratory and humans as the specimen, I have my own conclusions about the emotional nature of men.
Observation one: We were at a small dinner party of seven friends. I cooked; someone else brought the drinks, another dessert, and stuff like that.
A friend I shall call Simon brought along a girl I shall call Stella. We were meeting her for the first time, and he didn’t attach a description to her; he simply said, “This is Stella.”
Later, we discovered she is a banker who fancies herself being in love with Simon. When dinner was served, Simon chose to sit next to another friend, leaving Stella by herself.
Someone pointed this out, and he argued that he had spent most of the day with her and now wanted to talk to other people. Stella looked wounded, but soldiered on.
Later, cake was served. This time not to be outplayed, Stella perched next to Simon. She didn’t want a lot of cake, and asked if she could have a little bit of his.
His retort was: “Either you want cake or you don’t; leave mine alone!”
If I hadn’t known Simon for the last decade, I would presume he is some kind of sociopath. But such rude and insensitive behaviour is so unlike him; the entire room was perplexed.
Three other people simultaneously offered to share their cake with Stella, but the poor girl’s evening was already down the toilet.
Seeking to understand my friend, I replayed the entire evening under my sociologist lenses. Two facts manifested: the first one being that one of the dinner guests was a girl Simon thought was a perfect mate for him, but nothing had ever come of it.
We mutual friends like to think of it as a Rachel-Ross syndrome, but without the Friends sitcom happy ending.
Secondly, Stella seemed like a fairly sensible girl who would not force herself onto an unwilling man; snippets of the conversation indicated they were already in the physically intimate phase of whatever their relationship was.
The effort she had made to dress up for his friends also indicated that he had invited her beforehand.
Conclusion: Simon invited a girl to a social event, proceeded to snub her and then tried to cover up the ensuing awkwardness with boisterous talk. Come end of the evening, he was very attentive, worrying whether she was cold and carrying her purse for her.
We were confused! Surely, a man could not be that erratic and irrational! Right?!