The dream of everyone intending to get married is to build a home and raise children.
The failure to have children in most marriages is interpreted as a curse, or looked at as a big problem. It is always worse on the side of the woman; she may not be well accepted in the family as a wife without children.
Children are a big pillar in marriages, and a blessing to the couples. This is the reason why the Bible says they are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward (Psalms.127:3). The birth of a child in a marriage relationship comes with a lot of happiness and relief.
But there are those who get children straight away without any struggle, and the above scripture is fulfilled immediately. In all ways, children are always celebrated and raised with love and care.
However, there are some parents who have never told their children words like ‘I love you’, or even giving them a hug in their lifetime. Yet you could be doing such to other people’s children – hugging and pecking them – even in front of your own children.
There is need for positive words of affirmation to instill confidence in your child. Even God had to confirm with words to the world about His love for His son when an angel came upon Jesus Christ, saying: “This is my son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17NIV).
We should emulate God, and do the same to our children. Sometimes, we think buying them what they need assures them of our love. In doing so, however, we forget that without hearing it by the word of mouth, the child can think we are only fulfilling our parental role and responsibility. Consequently, they will never know how much we truly love them.
If your child has performed well at school, take the onus and appreciate them. But even when they are not doing well to your expectation, your encouraging words instill confidence and esteem in them. If your child has finished a house chore and you say “well done, my child”, it makes a difference.
I know all of us have different love languages, but words of affirmation build up your child emotionally. They keep your child focused on the better side of life because they learn to believe in themselves just because of you. They will not long to hear such words from their social networks; they won’t have to melt when they receive compliments from others, especially from the opposite sex.
If your children learn from you how to express themselves through positive affirmation, they will not find it hard to voice out similar words and share their feelings with you.
Nonetheless, you should not only stop at words of affirmation, but also keep bonding with them tirelessly. There is need for you to connect with your children now so that in future when they are occupied with their own life and no longer stay with you, they won’t forget about you.
What you sow in them today is what you will reap from them tomorrow. If you deposit in their social bank today, you will get socio-emotional dependence on them in your later days in life. They will be able to check on you regularly, make phone calls, tell you words of encouragement and keep you emotionally strong.