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Sex talk: Do you love as good as you look?

If you are a fan of country music, you may recognise those as lyrics from Bellamy Brothers’ 1980 hit of the same title.

But seriously; do you love as good as you look? Or are you all hot looks but a zero when it comes to pleasuring your spouse?

It could be one of the commonest complaints about sex and marriage; ask a marriage counsellor. It is common for one’s spouse to be the envy of the entire clan and neighbourhood, even as you, the person ‘privileged’ to share their bed, would beg to differ, given a chance to speak about these things.

Haven’t you heard about the husband who is tired of his stunningly pretty wife not trying at all in the bedroom, thinking that all she has to do during lovemaking is lie there and look pretty?

Or the wife who sighs tellingly as third parties heap praise on her husband’s amazing six-pack, legs that look like tree trunks and great charm… For, indeed, not all that glitters is gold – or in this case, not all the bulges fall in the right places, so to speak. Ahem!

So, back to the question; do you love as good as you look? Or do you love better than you look? Of course I prefer the latter. Regardless your reservations about physical appearance (everyone has their insecurities), do not let that determine the level you play at when it comes to satisfying your spouse.

Some marriages with physically very hot people are also sadly sexless. And other marriages, with – according to outsider standards – very average-looking people, have serious fireworks and twirling pink elephants in their marital bedroom on a daily basis.

If you have nailed your physical look to what you consider perfection, bravo; now, work on bringing your loving up to speed, and better. Of course loving goes beyond just the sex, you realise.

For, what is a man with a good body who never cuddles or even hugs his wife? He may be the ultimate office flirt, hugging every Tina, Dina and Harriet, but never his wife or kids. He prefers parading the hot-bod in the gym, walking with a swagger that leaves members with sinful thoughts. But when he comes home, he wants to be left alone.

His sex is mechanical and nothing to write home about; his expected beneficiary – the wife – has no clue what if feels like to be held against that body, save for those few seconds when he selfishly seeks his sexual release. What a waste!

Or, you could be the hot wife whose loving is quite weird. Hubby-dearest can never look at you naked under any circumstances and lovemaking is strictly under the cloak of darkness; he haggles for sex more desperately than if he were buying a new car from the Pakistanis in Nakawa; and when you choose to talk to him, it is to blast him, interrogate him and nag the living daylights out of him. It is all part of loving, you know!

Again, do you love as good as you look?

Some people are too good-looking but there is nothing peaceful – let alone desirable – about being around them, because of their disposition. As a result, it hardly ever gets to the sex part, because his huge biceps and chiselled backside are more related to violence against his wife and kids, than to any erotic lifting of wifey, or being the man around the home.

Let the neighbours truly have something to envy your spouse about instead of having her/him snigger inwardly each time they rave about your good looks, your sharp sense of style and what a lucky wo/man s/he is.

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