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ANALYST: Porn coming to a church near you

KAMPALA, February – Thousands of believers and non-believers alike are flocking to Makerere Community Church following reports that gay pornography screenings have become part of Sunday worship.

According to the BBC, anti-gay activist, Pastor Martin Ssempa has been screening gay porn in his church ostensibly to drum up support for his anti-gay crusade.

This makes Makerere Community Church the only place in Uganda where watching pornography is “legal”. According to Uganda’s laws, even mere possession of pornographic material is a crime.

It would appear that Makerere Community Church has got a special license to show porn. Moreover, perhaps following Jesus Christ’s example of welcoming children, even kids can watch porn at Makerere Community Church.

A source who went to watch a “normal” film at Cineplex at Garden City on Sunday was surprised to find himself alone in the cinema. He too abandoned Cineplex and rushed to Makerere Community Church when a friend sent him an SMS saying that a “sexy film of people doing things” was showing there.

However, some people who attended the Ssempa pornography screening complained that the good pastor has “poor taste”.

 

“I am now convinced the man is a pastor. Is that the best gay porn he could find? I was waiting to see lesbians doing it but where, he only showed men!” complained a member of the congregation.

He said he would speak to the pastor to “balance up things” by showing lesbian sex, as well as heterosexual sex.

“If I am going to choose between gay sex and straight sex, I need to compare and contrast,” he said.
Some people, however, were happy that they now know what homosexuality is all about.

“I can’t wait to get home and try it out. The men in the movie really seemed to be enjoying themselves,” one member of the congregation told The Analyst.

Meanwhile, sources in religious circles say that many churches, fearing that they might lose their congregations to Pastor Ssempa’s church, are scrambling to import their own pornographic movies.

“Pastor Ssempa has showed us a whole new way to attract followers,” one priest told The Analyst, adding that once the blue movies arrived, he would rename his church “Kampala Miracle Cinema”.

analyst@observer.ug

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